I've been toying with the idea of making a compliation of things that always make me go "wut" when I browse and post around dA. I'd like to get your ideas, comments and anything else on these, because they baffle me. Also, if you have any of your own to add, fire away. I'll be updating this as long as people make me insert face into palm.

Number one - the "I have a real life" comment and all that it entails. It's usually given during a prolonged exchange, when one of the sides has run out of points to make, or wants to make that final blow to humiliate the other side. What the HELL is the point of such a comment? The only reasonable reply I can find is "well, obviously you don't", or "obviously you have as much of a real life as I do". We all have real lives, and just because someone likes to spend some time on a forum or website doesn't automatically means he/she's a recluse who spends their life in a basement and chomps on endless takeaways.

Number two - the "you don't know me" comment, usually linked with "how the hell can you tell the real me from a comment I made on the web". I hate to break this to you, but your behaviour (on the net or otherwise) speaks for itself. Unless you want to append your life story to every single post you make/word you say, you will be judged based on what you type/say. I thought that was obvious? If you behave like a retard, people will think you're one, even if you're actually a rocket scientist who's just won the Booker and sealed a multi-million record deal.

Number three - the "that's just your opinion" comment. Wow. Want an award for that discovery? Do we all really have to add "imho" to every single post we make just so some idiot doesn't pounce on us, teeth and claws bared? Of course it's my opinion, I wouldn't be typing it if it wasn't. And, as we say it over here, "opinions are like arses - everyone has their own". I also thought that was a given?

Number four - the "then why are you replying to me" comment. It baffles me why some people think that they're allowed to post whatever the hell they want, wherever the hell they want, but the moment someone objects, they scream "you don't have to read it/reply to it". I don't, but I can, and just as you can voice your RAGE, I can voice my annoyance at your drama. If you don't want people replying to your post, DON'T POST IT. Or, even better, start your own, closed forum, and invite only your chummies so you can all agree with each other, and stop annoying people in open forums.

Number five - the "if you don't like what I'm posting, that's your problem" comment. No, that's YOUR problem. Especially if you're behaving like a dick, and a lot of people tell you to stfu and gtfo. A forum is a public place, and just like you wouldn't run up and down the street kicking people, you shouldn't run amok in a forum and verbally kick people. Unless, that is, you do kick random people in real life, in which case you need a shotgun to the head.

Number six - the "thanks, but your feedback sucks" comment. This, of course, applies to work posted on this or on any other such website. If you don't want feedback, there's this nifty option of turning off comments, or of setting the comments to "the artist doesn't want critiques". I can understand why sometimes you wouldn't want crits - a piece is personal, you spent a lot of time on it etc. - but it's YOUR job to inform the viewers about it. If you don't, don't bitch about people who still do it. And, if you REALLY don't want ANY feedback, don't post it. I know it's tempting to post your work and expect a circle-wank to feed your ego, but don't be surprised when someone steps in and bursts the bubble.

Number seven - the "this is ART" comment and its endless variations. In some 99% of cases I've seen, if the creator has to say that, then it is NOT art. Personally, I think that every person who wants to start creating should start off with a course in the history of their desired form of creation, so they learn some fucking humility. Your scribbles are not art, and will never be, unless you smarten up and understand that drawing a picture/writing a story/taking a photo does not art make.

Number eight - the "it's just a hobby" comment. Why people think that is a valid reason not to accept crits I do not know. If anything, it should be the other way around - it's your hobby, so you want to do more and more of it and so get better and better. If you're doing something for a hobby and don't want to improve - it's time to find another hobby. Also, "hobby" is a funny word.

Number nine - the "oh dear my work is so shit and useless and baaawwww" comment. If it's so shit, then why post it on dA for all to see? Expecting people to go "aww, it's not", and make you feel better? If so, expect people to write "you're right, it is".

Number ten - the "oh my god she's so thin/so obese" comments under photographs of women. GET OVER IT. Who cares if thin models promote anorexia, obese models promote stuffing yourself? Nobody. Nobody also gives a shit about your words of wisdom, such as "fatty-fatty-fat-fats need to get some exercise", or "you need a burger". If you can't get over it and appreciate the shot, then join some health-freak forum and whine over there.

Number eleven - the "I'm not a racist/bigot/intolerant/etc., BUT..." comment. Yes, you are. Accept it.

Number twelve - the "if you can't do better, don't crit it" comment. If this was true, 99% of the world's professional critics would die of hunger. You don't need to do something well yourself to know and see if something is doe badly. Allow me to quote Roy, who suggested this one: "As if you can't complain about having a turd in your soup just because you wouldn't be able to make that soup yourself."